My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
