im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The Olympian is in my bed
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
