i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
