he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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