yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize