If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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