smell my finger.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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