...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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