I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
