yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
