if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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