He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well I just put wine in my tea
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
