Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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