We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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