At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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