u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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