u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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