I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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