Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My balls are so social today.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm like, not good at living.
i out mim tonsoeep
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