I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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