I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
