I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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