Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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