mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
