No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
