I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
