I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
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