He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
