Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize
