Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
