PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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