Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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