I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
