i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize