you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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