3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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