How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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