Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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