just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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