I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
