I think im going to throw up on grandma
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
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then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
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I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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