I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
