The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
