it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
