can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
