so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
