69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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