Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Randomize
