TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
