your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
