Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low

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(514): View more from Quebec

I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.

(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

They always sound like a bunch of chickens.

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(530): View more from California

Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

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(303): View more from Colorado

I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze

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(503): View more from Oregon

And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....

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(739): View more from

The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM

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(847): View more from Illinois

Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!

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(916): View more from California

I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!

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