East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
