I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
