you mean i was at the winter classic?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
