Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
