Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
