if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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