Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
