just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
