one might say we're banned from that church
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
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she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
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Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
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