You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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