Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
