Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
