There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
