i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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