Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
