I look better un-naked...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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