Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
