How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
